


Convenience

by strawberriesandtophats



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: M/M, Marriage, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 17:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5595358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberriesandtophats/pseuds/strawberriesandtophats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harold tells himself that he should be used to Nathan's casual flirting by now. He is not, especially when Nathan wonders if they should have gotten married to each other.</p><p>One-sided Harold/Nathan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Convenience

**Author's Note:**

  * For [talkingtothesky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/talkingtothesky/gifts).



> This is far too late for the advent calendar, but it is here! Apologies.
> 
> Inspired by this wonderful fanvideo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7NR0lA-xvM&list=FL7LqcsPpFMcrMqsHMQnHqkQ&index=5

Nathan Ingram walked into the space where Harold worked, carrying a fresh mug of horribly expensive coffee with sugar, where Harold sat in his computer chair, hard at work. He was building the Machine, a cup of tea beside the small lamp and surrounded by computer equipment. Harold barely noticed him until Nathan coughed in a meaningful way that was a handy tool at board meetings. He grinned at Harold, when the shorter man looked at him and received a welcoming smile. Nathan sat down in his own chair and got to work. He glanced at Harold, who was humming under his breath to the cheerful song on the radio. Nathan had not heard the song because the volume was so low, but he could hear the gentle melody of the next song and mused on how well it fit with the sound of typing.

They worked together in a comfortable silence for a while, listening to the radio as they wrote line after line of code. Nathan would occasionally stop typing to take a sip of his coffee.

“Do you think we should have gotten married?“ Nathan asked as Harold reached for his tea, sensing an opening. Harold‘s hand stilled in midair. He looked at Nathan for a split second, his eyes alarmed, looking like a deer in the headlights. Then he drew a breath and sipped his tea before putting the cup back down on the little plate.

“You are married, Nathan,“ Harold replied evenly, “I can distinctly remember being your best man. Surely you have not forgotten your own wedding?“

Nathan made a playful gesture with his hand and smiled at Harold, whose expression was slightly guarded.

Harold recognized it as the smile Nathan used when he was trying to be as charming as possible, impress someone, or flirting. Nathan would sometimes do this, sometimes he would slip and start flirting with Harold, like it was old times where they could be more lenient, when Nathan was still unattached and they had been young. 

But they were alone now, some treacherous part of Harold‘s brain reminded him, they would not be discovered. Perhaps little slip ups would be allowed, just once, just for a single moment. Now in the privacy of this tiny office when no one was around and no one would ever know. But Harold could not bring himself to speak, to say something along the lines of accepting the idea of something like this that Nathan had just offered him, something he had never really allowed himself to hope for. Something that he had never thought could become a reality.

“No, I mean us,“ Nathan said, pointing at Harold and then at himself, looking almost secretive, scheming, as if he had just proposed a grand adventure for the two of them. But there was something in Nathan‘s eyes that told Harold that Nathan was only joking around, that he was not being serious. Harold felt his heart sink, despite all these years of friendship with Nathan that sometimes included bouts of flirting on Nathan‘s side, and tentative acceptance of said flirting on Harold‘s part. Nonetheless, he felt the old pain and odd kind of hope that always reared its head when Nathan flirted with him reappear.

“Did you just ask me to marry you, Nathan?“ Harold asked, feeling his ears grow pink at the words, at the implication, even if it was just a jest. But his heart felt heavy and cold, and he had to blink back the first sign of tears. It should not be like this, Harold told himself, he should not still react like this. After all, he reasoned, had he not had years to become accustomed to Nathan‘s casual flirting?  
Arthur had once told Harold that if they left Nathan in a room by himself for long enough, he would start flirting with inanimate objects, Harold reminded himself. This was nothing, this was just Nathan being silly. Years of work, of practice, of experience hiding his feelings, which had admittedly grown a bit less intense as the years went by, for Nathan were paying off as he watched, with a mix of relief and loss as Nathan laughed in a lighthearted manner at the whole idea of asking Harold to marry him out of the blue.

„No, no,“ Nathan said happily, running his hand through his hair, and for a moment he was the young man Harold had loved back at MIT, instead of the businessman in front of him. Nathan‘s eyes swept over the room and the equipment around them. “I‘m just saying that it could have worked out, we work together so well like this. It would have been convenient. You see where I am going-„  
Convenient, Harold thought, and looked at his friend, whose smiled did not waver and who had placed a hand on his shoulder in a friendly manner. Harold felt his heart beating so hard that he could barely think.

“Hm,“ Harold heard himself say, "Maybe in the next life.“  
Then he watched Nathan sit back down in his chair, looking pleased. Nathan clinked his mug with Harold‘s teacup as if acknowledging that this had been an important conversation and began working once more, as if nothing strange had happened. Harold allowed the subject to drop entirely as they worked in silence, one that was more thoughtful than the one before. He could let his friend suspect that his feelings for him were not completely platonic, but allowing him to get any kind of confirmation would be far too painful and Harold was not sure that he could bear that. It was better like this, Harold decided, and began typing again. It would have to be enough, at least for the time being.

Perhaps they would talk about it later on, when they had finished the Machine. When there would be more time, Harold thought and continued working. They would have time after this conversation, after the Machine was completed. Of course they would. Things would be fine.


End file.
